by Terry Gillen
I’ve known the author for several years. He is an experienced author and trainer.
I know he invests extensive time and effort into his training and writing so I was very interested to learn what he had to say in his book ‘Quietly Confident’.
The sub title of the book is ‘How to think, feel and communicate calmly and confidently in situations that matter to you’.
The author starts the book with ‘Essential Terms’, where he identifies key phrases used in the book, together with explanations.
Chapter 1 – ‘Something worth thinking about’
This chapter firstly covers thinking and its impact. There is a short questionnaire to self-assess levels of confidence, and from this the reader is invited to reflect on which questions registered most, which were most uncomfortable and which the reader would most like to change.
The author then offers a Quick Start Guide, with seven suggestions to start behaving more confidently.
Chapter 2 – ‘Confidence, reality, chickens and spirals’
This chapter is designed to help the reader understand important principles about confidence. It describes what confidence is, and puts confidence under the microscope where the reader is invited to consider how much confidence is wanted and in what situations it is wanted.
Chapter 3 – ‘What’s stopping you?’
This chapter explains the five features of brain processing that affect confidence:-
- The effect of evolution
- Giants and rules
- Paradigms and programs
- Your fiddling filter
- A gremlin in the machine
Chapter 4 – ‘Making the brain work for you – how to feel confident’
Following on from identifying the brain processing that affects confidence, this chapter explores how to amend the programming in the brain, in the subconscious.
Focusing on how to think confidently, the author identified five important concepts ‘that form the key to tagging new instructions onto existing programs’.
There are tips on how to switch reference points, to redirect motivation, use perceptual positioning, to reframe, to use positive words and several other ways to use the brain positively.
Chapter 5 – ‘Making your behaviour work for you – how to behave confidently’
This chapter focuses on how to behave confidently. Included in this chapter are four simple tips that ‘have a disproportionally big effect’ (smiling, walking with a purpose, making eye contact, sit and stand like a newsreader), along with other tips, such as modelling, making requests, handling put downs.
Chapter 6 – ‘How to be a radiator rather than a drain’
This chapter covers how to behave to make other people feel good, practice quietly confident behaviours, attract positive behaviour from other people. It focuses on behaving as a radiator, rather than as a drain, and the impact of behaving in this way.
Chapter 7 – ‘Magnificent you’
In this chapter the author asks ‘How can you make what you have learned (in the book) a way of life?’ The chapter covers quiet confidence and the cumulative effect, habit, discovering new lands, the tipping point and what do you want? – all ways that the information in the previous chapters can be put into practice.
Chapter 8 – ‘Final thoughts’
This short chapter picks some quotes from people that proved to be wrong (and demonstrates how the way our brain is programmed can get in the way) and positive sayings.
Final Thoughts
This is not a big book (143 pages), however it is packed with information. It could be described as a portable coaching or training guide to
- pick up when something is getting in the way of thinking or behaving confidently:- “Oh that’s why that’s happening, how can I deal with it so it’s not causing me problems?”
- revisit for some inspiration and support when an extra dollop of confidence is required, for example, going for an interview, making a presentation, dealing with a challenging situation.
The book image links to Amazon*
© Krista Powell Edwards 2021